I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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