Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
