Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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