No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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