i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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