Cold hands, warm shart.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
