Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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