For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
