He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
