btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
