So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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