someone owes me an orgasm
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
