Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
