Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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