I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
