holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
