Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
