ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
