Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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