those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You're like the curious george of whores
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
