Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
