i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
