And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
