I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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