went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
