as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
