So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize