All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
