yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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