I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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