Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This house was built for laser tag.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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