Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
