i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
