cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
