is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
