So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
