ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
