after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
