her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
