Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
