i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
