So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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