I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
