kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
