"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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