Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
