I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
