dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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