No stitches, just platelets and will power
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
