The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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