come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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