I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
