Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
