Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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