I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize