Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize