I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize