Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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