I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
