there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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