I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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