I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize