these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
