bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
