just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
