He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize