every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
God I need to hump something, right now.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
