How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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