Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize