I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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